' 'I almost believe I would,'
says Safety First. 'Well, it don't seem like I'd have much use for it
after all,' says Harvey. 'Of course I can always get a new one if my
fancy happens to run that way again.'
"So old Safety First buys a new loaded rifle that he ain't got a use on
earth for. It would of looked to outsiders like he was throwing his
money away on fripperies, but he knew it was a prime necessity of life
all right. The parcels post ain't done him a bit of good since, though I
send him marked pieces in the papers every now and then telling how the
postmaster general thinks it's a great boon to the ultimate consumer.
And I mustn't forget to send Harvey six bits for them three packages
that come to-night. That's what we do. Otherwise, him being morose and
turbulent, he'd get a new gun and make ultimate consumers out of all of
us. Darned ultimate! I reckon we got a glorious Government, like
candidates always tell us, but a postmaster general that expected stage
drivers to do three times the hauling they had been doing with no extra
pay wouldn't last long out at the tail of an ... route.
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