The whole world reeled,
And for a moment I was crushed and stunned.
Then came the wild revulsion of despair;
Then, calm more dreadful than the fiercest pain.
"Row me to the steps," I said. I leaped
On their wet edge, and stared in at the door
Where all was hurry, rush, and flare of light.
My eyes ran, lightning, zigzag, through the crowd
In search of him--he was not there. Ah, God!
I breathed. He was not there! I inly cursed
My unbelief, and turned me round to go.
There was a sudden murmur near the door,
And I beheld him--walking at her side.
Oh! cursed be the hour I saw that sight,
And cursed be the place! I saw those eyes
That used to look such passion into mine
Turned with the selfsame look to other eyes,
Yes, light blue eyes, that upward gazed at him.
I could not bear their bliss.
I scarcely knew what happened then; I knew
I felt for the stiletto in my vest
With purpose that was half mechanical,
As if a demon used my hand for his.
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