I forget which was the first distemper I
plunged into--some fearful, devastating scourge I know--and, before I
had glanced half down the list of "premonitory symptoms," it was borne
in upon me that I had fairly got it.
I sat for a while, frozen with horror; and then, in the listlessness of
despair, I again turned over the pages. I came to typhoid fever--read
the symptoms--discovered that I had typhoid fever, must have had it for
months without knowing it--wondered what else I had got; turned up St.
Vitus's Dance--found, as I expected, that I had that too,--began to get
interested in my case, and determined to sift it to the bottom and so
started alphabetically--read up ague, and learned that I was sickening
for it, and that the acute stage would commence in about another
fortnight. Bright's disease, I was relieved to find, I had only in a
modified form, and, so far as that was concerned, I might live for
years. Cholera I had, with severe complications; and diphtheria I seemed
to have been born with. I plodded conscientiously through the twenty-six
letters, and the only malady I could conclude I had not got was
housemaid's knee.
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