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Various

"Standard Selections A Collection and Adaptation of Superior Productions From Best Authors For Use in Class Room and on the Platform"


I'm kinder lop-sided en pigeon toed
But jes' you watch me keep in de middle ob de road.
Kase de troubles I'se got is a mighty heavy load.
Talk about troubles, I got 'em en had 'em,
Same as Adam.
An' don' yo see I mighty well know
Dat I got 'em from Adam long ago,
From Adam en Eve en de appile tree,
When dey runned free
In de pahdise gyardin
Wid butter-flies en honey bee?

FOOTNOTE:
[67] By permission of D. Appleton & Co.


MR. DOOLEY ON LA GRIPPE MICROBES
FINLEY PETER DUNNE

Mr. Dooley was discovered making a seasonable beverage consisting of one
part syrup, two parts quinine and fifteen parts strong waters.
"What's the matter?" asked Mr. McKenna.
"I have th' lah gr-rip," said Mr. Dooley, blowing his nose and wiping
his eyes. "Bad cess to it! Oh, me poor back! It feels as if a dhray had
r-run over it. Did ye iver have it? Ye did not. Well, ye'er lucky. Ye'er
a lucky man.
"I wint to McGuire's wake las' week. They give him a dacent sind-off.


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