Separated from those dearest to me, the whole of the journey, for that
matter, was a sort of self-torment to me, even though a profitable one.
Like every other traveller, I had many a lonely hour, and plenty of time
to ponder over my position and vocation in life. I summed up my
impressions in the sentence: "The Powers have designated me the champion
of great ideas against great talents, unfortunately greater than I."
X.
There was only one distinguished person outside my circle of
acquaintance to whom I wished to bring my first descriptive book, as a
mark of homage, Johanne Louise Heiberg, the actress. I had admired her
on the stage, even if not to the same extent as Michael Wiehe; but to me
she was the representative of the great time that would soon sink into
the grave. In addition, I ventured to hope that she, being a friend of
Frederik Paludan-Mueller, Magdalene Thoresen and others who wished me
well, would be at any rate somewhat friendly inclined towards me. A few
years before, it had been rumoured in Copenhagen after the publication
of my little polemical pamphlet against Nielsen, that at a dinner at the
Heiberg's there had been a good deal of talk about me; even Bishop
Martensen had expressed himself favourably, and it also attracted
attention that a short time afterwards, in a note to his book _On
Knowledge and Faith_, he mentioned me not unapprovingly, and
contented himself with a reminder to me not to feel myself too soon
beyond being surprised.
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