But,--almost for the first time in my life,--when the company rose from
table I felt that I had been in exceedingly bad company, and a disgust
for the nominally highest circles, who were so little capable of acting
in accordance with the reputation they enjoyed, and the polish imputed
to them, remained with me for many years to come.
FIRST LONG SOJOURN ABROAD
My Wish to See Paris--_Dualism in our Modern Philosophy_--A
Journey--Impressions of Paris--Lessons in French--Mademoiselle Mathilde
--Taine.
I.
I had wished for years to see Paris, the city that roused my most devout
feelings. As a youth I had felt a kind of reverent awe for the French
Revolution, which represented to me the beginning of human conditions
for all those who were not of the favoured among men,--and Paris was the
city of the Revolution. Moreover, it was the city of Napoleon, the only
ruler since Caesar who had seriously fascinated me, though my feelings
for him changed so much that now admiration, now aversion, got the upper
hand. And Paris was the city, too, of the old culture, the city of
Julian the Apostate, the city of the middle ages, that Victor Hugo had
portrayed in _Notre Dame de Paris_--the first book I had read in
French, difficult though it was with its many peculiar expressions for
Gothic arches and buttresses--and it was the city where Alfred de Musset
had written his poems and where Delacroix had painted.
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