The older men lay down and
slept after the meal. I went up to Dybboelmoelle. On the way back, I found
on a hill looking out over Als a bench from which there was a beautiful
view across to Slesvig. I lay down on the seat and gazed up at the sky
and across the perfect country. The light fields, with their tall, dark
hedges, which give the Slesvig scenery its peculiar stamp, from this
high-lying position looked absolutely lovely.
XII.
I was not given to looking at life in a rosy light. My nature, one
uninterrupted endeavour, was too tense for that. Although I occasionally
felt the spontaneous enjoyments of breathing the fresh air, seeing the
sun shine, and listening to the whistling of the wind, and always
delighted in the fact that I was in the heyday of my youth, there was
yet a considerable element of melancholy in my temperament, and I was so
loth to abandon myself to any illusion that when I looked into my own
heart and summed up my own life it seemed to me that I had never been
happy for a day. I did not know what it was to be happy for a whole day
at a time, scarcely for an hour. I had only known a moment's rapture in
the companionship of my comrades at a merry-making, in intercourse with
a friend, under the influence of the beauties of Nature, or the charm of
women, or in delight at gaining intellectual riches--during the reading
of a poem, the sight of a play, or when absorbed in a work of art.
Pages:
128
129
130
131
132
133
134
135
136
137
138
139
140
141
142
143
144
145
146
147
148
149
150
151
152