_Miss Golightly_ (_the Friend of the Family, and to whom Sir Percy
(the elder) has proposed_). "OF COURSE I'M AWFULLY OBLIGED, SIR
PERCY--BUT, SAY NOW, DON'T YOU THINK THERE WOULD BE SOME DANGER OF
MY FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOUR ELDEST SON?"]
* * * * *
MR. CHAUNCEY DEPEW, the well-known American lawyer, wonders why on
earth the British Government has not long ago given Home Rule to
Ireland. He encourages Mr. G.'s Ministry to do their best in this
direction, and chaunce-y it. We're always delighted to welcome Mr.
CHAUNCEY DEPEW in England, so let him come over with a Depewtation
to Mr. G. on the subject.
* * * * *
EQUESTRIAN FRUIT.--At the Horticultural Show the Baroness
BURDETT-COUTTS exhibited a "Cob of ADAM's Early Maize." No particulars
are given. Was it 14'1 and a weight-carrier? Being ADAM's, it must be
about the oldest in the world. "Maize" may be a misprint for "Mews."
Next time the Baroness must send a pear.
* * * * *
PROBABLE DEDUCTION.--A pertinacious Salvation Army Captain was
worrying a Scotch farmer, whom he had met in the train, with perpetual
inquiries as to whether "he had been born again of Water and the
Spirit?" At last, MCSANDY replied, "Aweel, I dinna reetly ken how
that may be, but my good old feyther and mither took their toddy
releegiously every nicht, the noo.
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