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Oxonian, An

"Thaumaturgia"

He makes nothing
* * * * * * * * * * *;--but will undertake to cure them and tie one hand
behind him, with so much ease and freedom, that his patients may surfeit
and get drunk as often as they please, and follow their business without
any inconvenience to their health or occasions; and recover with so much
secrecy, that they shall never know how it comes about. He professes "no
cure no pay," as well he may, for if nature does the work, he is paid
for it; if not, he neither wins nor loses; and like a cunning rook lays
his bets so artfully, that, let the chance be what it will, he either
wins or saves. He cheats the rich for their money, and the poor for
charity, and, if either succeed, both are pleased, and he passes for a
very just and conscientious man: for as those that pay nothing ought at
least to speak well of their entertainments, their testimony makes way
for those who are able to pay for both. He finds he has no reputation
among those that know him, and fears he is never like to have, and,
therefore, posts up his bills, to see if he can thrive better amongst
those who know nothing of him.


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