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Beerbohm, Max, Sir, 1872-1956

"A Christmas Garland"

_
_Is it not likely that at other times_
_They are quite decent midgets, capable_
_Of thinking for themselves, and also acting_
_Discreetly on their own initiative,_
_Not drilled and herded, yet gregarious--_
_A wise yet frolicsome community?_
SPIRIT IRONIC.
_What are these "other times" though? I had thought_
_Those midgets whiled away the vacuous hours_
_After one war in training for the next._
_And let me add that my contempt for them_
_Is not done justice to by Mr. Hardy._
SPIRIT SINISTER.
_Nor mine. And I have reason to believe_
_Those midgets shone above their average_
_When we inspected them._
A RUMOUR (tactfully intervening).
_Yet have I heard_
_(Though not on very good authority)_
_That once a year they hold a festival_
_And thereat all with one accord unite_
_In brotherly affection and good will._
SPIRIT OF THE YEARS (to Recording Angel).
_Can you authenticate this Rumour?_
RECORDING ANGEL.
_Such festival they have, and call it "Christmas."_
SPIRIT OF THE PITIES.
_Then let us go and reconsider them_
_Next "Christmas."_
SPIRIT OF THE YEARS (to Recording Angel).
_When is that?_
RECORDING ANGEL (consults terrene calendar).


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