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Colum, Padraic, 1881-1972

"Three Plays"

I don't like the
coal that comes into this place.
ALBERT
Coal, eh, grandpapa.
MUSKERRY
I said coal.
ALBERT
We haven't good stores here.
MUSKERRY
Confound you for your insolence.
ALBERT
Somebody you know is in the shop--Felix Tournour.
MUSKERRY
Bid Tournour come in to me.
ALBERT
_(talking into the shop)_ You're wanted here, Tournour. Come
in now or I'll entertain the boss with "The Devil's Rambles."
_(He turns to Muskerry)_ I was given the job of stocktaking.
MUSKERRY
That's a matter for yourself.
ALBERT
I don't think I'll take the job now.
MUSKERRY
Why won't you take it?
ALBERT
I don't know what to say about the fifty tons of coal.
MUSKERRY
I was too precipitate about the coal. But don't have me at
the loss of fifty pounds through any of your smartness.
ALBERT
All right, grandfather; I'll see you through.
MUSKERRY
Confound you for a puppy.
_Felix Tournour enters. He looks prosperous. He has on a loud check
suit. He wears a red tie and a peaked cap_.
ALBERT
The Master wants to speak to you, Tournour.
TOURNOUR
What Master.
ALBERT
The boss, Tournour, the boss.
MUSKERRY
I want you, and that's enough for you, Tournour.
ALBERT
I suppose you don't know, grandpapa, that Tournour has a
middling high position in the Poorhouse now.
MUSKERRY
What are you saying?
ALBERT
Tournour is Ward-master now.


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