That of late he had acted thus, without anticipating
care; but before the experience above mentioned, he had used it in his
affairs.
When outward business diverted him a little from the thought of GOD, a
fresh remembrance coming from GOD invested his soul, and so inflamed
and transported him that it was difficult for him to contain himself.
That he was more united to GOD in his outward employments, than when
he left them for devotion in retirement.
That he expected hereafter some great pain of body or mind; that the
worst that could happen to him was, to lose that sense of GOD which he
had enjoyed so long; but that the goodness of GOD assured him He would
not forsake him utterly, and that He would give him strength to bear
whatever evil He permitted to happen to him; and therefore that he
feared nothing, and had no occasion to consult with anybody about his
state. That when he had attempted to do it, he had always come away
more perplexed; and that as he was conscious of his readiness to lay
down his life for the love of GOD, he had no apprehension of danger.
That perfect resignation to GOD was a sure way to heaven, a way in
which we had always sufficient light for our conduct.
That in the beginning of the spiritual life, we ought to be faithful
in doing our duty and denying ourselves; but after that, unspeakable
pleasures followed; that in difficulties we need only have recourse to
JESUS CHRIST, and beg his grace; with that everything became easy.
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