I began to have openings leading to
the ministry, which brought me under close exercise and deep travail
of spirit; for although I had for some time spoken on subjects of
business in monthly and preparative meetings, yet the prospe
of opening my mouth in public meetings was a close trial; but I
endeavor'd to keep my mind quiet and resign' d to the heavenly call,
if it should be made clear to me to be my duty. Nevertheless,
I was, soon after, sitting in a meeting, in much weightiness of
spirit, a secret, though clear, intimation accompanied me to spe
a few words, which were then given to me to utter, yet fear so
prevail'd, that I did not yield to the intimation. For this
omission, I felt close rebuke, and judgment seem'd, for some time,
to cover my mind; but as I humbl'd myself under the Lord's mighty
hand, he again lifted up the light of his countenance upon me, and
enabl'd me to renew covenant with him, that if he would pass by this
my offence, I would, in future, be faithful, if he should again
require such a service of me.
The Revolutionary War following, tried the sect of Friends more
than any. The difficulty was to steer between their convictions as
patriots, and their pledges of non-warring peace. Here is the way they
solv'd the problem:
A war, with all its cruel and destructive effects, having raged for
several years between the British Colonies in North America and the
mother country, Friends, as well as others, were expos' d to many
severe trials and sufferings; yet, in the colony of New York,
Friends, who stood faithful to their principles, and did not meddle
in the controversy, had, after a short period at first, considerable
favor allow'd them.
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