But,
although thus helpless, the innocency of their lives, and the
resign'd cheerfulness of their dispositions to their allotments,
made the labor and toil of taking care of them agreeable and
pleasant; and I trust we were preserv'd from murmuring or repining,
believing the dispensation to be in wisdom, and according to the
will and gracious disposing of an all-wise providence, for purposes
best known to himself. And when I have observ'd the great anxiety
and affliction which many parents have with undutiful children who
are favor'd with health, especially their sons, I could perceive
very few whose troubles and exercises, on that account, did not far
exceed ours. The weakness and bodily infirmity of our sons tended to
keep them much out of the way of the troubles and temptations
the world; and we believ'd that in their death they were happy, and
admitted into the realms of peace and joy: a reflection, the most
comfortable and joyous that parents can have in regard to their
tender offspring.
Of a serious and reflective turn, by nature, and from his reading and
surroundings, Elias had more than once markedly devotional inward
intimations. These feelings increas'd in frequency and strength, until
soon the following:
About the twenty-sixth year of my age I was again brought, by the
operative influence of divine grace, under deep concern of mind; and
was led, through adorable mercy, to see, that although I had ceas'd
from many sins and vanities of my youth, yet there were many
remaining that I was still guilty of, which were not yet aton'd for,
and for which I now felt the judgments of God to rest upon m
This caus'd me to cry earnestly to the Most High for pardon and
redemption, and he graciously condescended to hear my cry, and to
open a way before me, wherein I must walk, in order to experience
reconciliation with him; and as I abode in watchfulness and deep
humiliation before him, light broke forth out of obscurity, and my
darkness became as the noon-day.
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