I had some years before compos'd
a little Liturgy, or form of prayer, for my own private use (viz.,
in 1728), entitled, Articles of Belief and Acts of Religion.
I return'd to the use of this, and went no more to the public assemblies.
My conduct might be blameable, but I leave it, without attempting
further to excuse it; my present purpose being to relate facts,
and not to make apologies for them.
It was about this time I conceiv'd the bold and arduous project
of arriving at moral perfection. I wish'd to live without
committing any fault at any time; I would conquer all that either
natural inclination, custom, or company might lead me into. As I knew,
or thought I knew, what was right and wrong, I did not see why I
might not always do the one and avoid the other. But I soon found
I had undertaken a task of more difficulty than I bad imagined.
While my care was employ'd in guarding against one fault, I was
often surprised by another; habit took the advantage of inattention;
inclination was sometimes too strong for reason. I concluded, at length,
that the mere speculative conviction that it was our interest to be
completely virtuous, was not sufficient to prevent our slipping;
and that the contrary habits must be broken, and good ones acquired
and established, before we can have any dependence on a steady,
uniform rectitude of conduct.
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