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Harris, W. S. (William Shuler), 1865-

"A twentieth century allegory"

So I expect to encourage forever
sacred-merchandising all along my route. The churches are glad to use
this ground even though it belongs to me, for I concede to them all
the money. Naturally I prefer souls to money."
"How did this word 'festival' originate?" queried Mr. World after a
brief pause in the conversation.
"With pleasure I will explain. Once upon a time I called together my
generals to determine upon new methods of winning converts to our
cause, and promised to confer upon the one who should suggest the best
plan, the honorable title 'Fast Devil.'
"A long intermission was granted to give my aids time to use their
ingenuity in planning. All Hell was filled with students, each one
striving to win the title.
"At a given signal my cohorts re-assembled. Thus before me lay a vast
army of anxious faces. I gave each one, who desired, an opportunity
to speak. The sun revolved on his axis seven times ere the argument
was finished. During this debate there was comparative peace on earth."
"Pray tell me," further asked Mr. World, "What was the trend of their
suggestions?"
"I could relate it all, for I have every word recorded, but I shall
not weary you.


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